Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Technical Support after upgrading from GirlFriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0

Problem Report After Upgrading From GirlFfriend7.0 To Wife 1.0

Problem Faced: Last year I upgraded from GirlFfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Smoking 10.3, Boozing 2.5 and Saturday Night Pubs 5.0 crash the system whenever selected. 

I cannot keep wife 1.0 in background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications like Night Club 4.3, Dance Drunk 2.0 and Bachelor Party 7.77. I am thinking about going back to GirlFriend 7.0, but the un-install does not work on this program. Can you help me, please !!!

Reply From Technical Support After Getting The Problem Report

Ref : Problem Report After Upgrading From GirlFriend 7.0 To Wife 1.0

This is a very common problem that male users complain about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from GirlFriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is actually an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run everything. It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge Wife 1.0 from the system once installed. You cannot go back to GirlFriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install GirlFriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warning-Alimony / Child Support" which was given to you at the time of registration with Wife 1.0. Having wife 1.0 installed myself, I feel the best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGISE.

In fact I would suggest that you use this command every time Wife 1.0 crashes on your system. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional s/w to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0 or even Movies 4.5 which will improve the performance of Wife 1.0.Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the OPERATING SYSTEM.

Best of luck,
Technical Support, Wife 1.0

Advice From A Colleague On The Problem Report

There is a very simple "Wife 1.0" version which is actually called "Life 1.0" very popularly known as "VMware Workstation 4.0.1 build-5289" could be installed when the "Wife 1.0" is running.

But need to have a very high memory and processing power to control the Wife 1.0 underneath the "VMware Workstation 4.0.1 build-5289". Because if the "Wife 1.0" see anything going wrong between you and "VMware Workstation 4.0.1 build-5289" which causes unexpected child processing (mentioned in the problem) will automatically show an error line like this "Unexpected error occurred-error massage cannot be retrive from Wife 1.0, try uninstalling any program (VMware Workstation 4.0.1 build-5289) previously installed and reboot the machine".

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Wife vs Girlfriend

Question: What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

Answer: 45 pounds.

Monday, September 19, 2016

প্রেম করা যদি পড়ালেখা করার মত বাধ্যতামূলক হতো?

প্রেম করা যদি পড়ালেখা করার মত বাধ্যতামূলক হতো? তাহলে কি হতো?

১/ মায়ের ডায়লগ :-
আজকে সারাদিন একটা মেয়েও পটাস নাই,
আজ আসুক তোর বাবা........

২/ বাবার ডায়লগ :
হারামজাদা,তোকে খাইয়ে-পরিয়ে কি লাভ?
দশটা মেয়ের মধ্যে সাতটার কাছ থেকে ছ্যাঁকা খেয়ে বাড়ি ফিরেছো........
.
৩/ স্কুলের টিচারের ডায়লগ :- কাল সবাই ৩টা নতুন মেয়ে
ফিটিং করে নিয়ে আসবে.........

8/ হেডমাস্টার :-
তোমরা সবাই মনদিয়ে লাইন মারবে
কোন অসুবিধা হলে আমায় জানাবে..........


৫/ সবশেষে ছোটো বাচ্চরা :- মা, আজ প্রেম করতে যাব না.
মা : হারামজাদা আজকে তোর
একদিন কি আমার একদিন
প্রত্যেক দিন বলবে প্রেম করতে যাব না,
প্রেম না করলে খাবি কী???

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Ramayana In The Age of Facebook


Teaching

Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!

Son: That's why I say she's no good!

Coincidence

Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COIINCIDENCE?

Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime."

Weapons of Mass Destruction

A French guy is asking an American, "What proof do you have that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?"

The American replies, "We kept the receipts."

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Saradrji Jokes

Boss : I am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k.
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but?? how much is DRIVING salary...?

 
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Sardar's theory : Moon is more important than Sun, coz it gives light at night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!!!

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Sardar shouting to his girl friend " u said we will do register marriage and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post office....


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Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and says, "chal", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks. He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion......
...... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"

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A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"

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2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....

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A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with father in the essay
and it read: I AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS, SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.

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Interviewar: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d .
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....
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Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS.......


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Thursday, December 13, 2007

Love Marriage VS Arranged Marriage

Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.

Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.

Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.

Arranged Marriage : Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.

Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.

Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.

Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.

Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.

Love Marriage : Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.

Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.

Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.

Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis, Product once sold will not be taken back !

Monday, July 23, 2007

Finance Ministry of India

A little Indian boy wanted Rs.500 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Finally he decided to write a letter to GOD requesting the Rs.500. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to "God, India", they decided to forward it to the Finance Minister of India as a joke.

The Finance Minister was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.200, as he thought Rs.500 would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy; he did not want to spoil the kid. The little boy was delighted with Rs.200, and decided to write a thanking reply note to God, which reads:

"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Finance Ministry in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs.300 as taxes!"

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